in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He uses pillows to masturbate.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize