I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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