how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
