My first STD was from a foam party
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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