this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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