There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
A bitchslap is in order.
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