Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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