i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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