I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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