whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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