So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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