i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
