i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
