clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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