That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
