for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
