i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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