Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
