yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
