just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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