I love black thongs
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
