You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
