Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
