I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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