Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
