Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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