we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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