seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
