I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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