office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize