ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
