so that wasnt chicken after all
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
