I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
