I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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