My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
