So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize