I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
