Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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