try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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