My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
