On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
