K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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