So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
North Korea, Best Korea!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
