We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
