yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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