i just made my gag reflex go away.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
