Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
