So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
