I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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