I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
