Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
