She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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