She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize