So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
