all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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