Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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