everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
