Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
