Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
