My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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