when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
