She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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