okay pat passed out under dana's car
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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